Most teams meet each other properly for the first time in a crisis. That is the worst possible introduction.
It comes up in almost every engagement we run. The strategy is sound, the plan is clear, and then a difficult conversation arrives and stalls. The issue isn’t too hard. The people in the room simply don’t know each other. Silence gets read as resistance. Directness gets read as an attack. Everyone is guessing.
I was reminded of this while listening to a podcast, where a story about a group singing Yellow Submarine together stuck with me. It sounds trivial. It isn’t.
Robin Dunbar, the Oxford professor best known for his work on how many relationships we can sustain, found that people who sang together bonded far faster than those in craft or writing classes. The others got there in the end. Singing was just the shortcut.
I’m not suggesting we open the next board meeting with a Beatles number. Although I’d pay to see it.
What I am suggesting is that knowing the people around us isn’t a nice-to-have. It is the work. How someone reacts under pressure. What they need to hear. What they really mean when they go quiet. That understanding lets us get the best from people, and it keeps a tough conversation from becoming a broken one.
The bond has to be there before we need it.
Too many teams do not know each other. They lack appreciation for the human. Regardless of your business, it is a people business.
So who on your team would you struggle to read under pressure, and what are you doing about it?
