I’ve caught myself doing it mid-conversation. Someone pays me a compliment, genuine, specific, and I’m already building the rebuttal in my head before they’ve finished the sentence.
That’s not humility. I used to think it was. It’s just a narrator I never fired.
I think about boxers sometimes, the ones who get in the ring knowing they’re going to take hits, and still make sure someone’s in the corner. Not to tell them it didn’t hurt. To tell them what’s actually true when they can’t see straight anymore.
I’ve needed that more than I’ve admitted. Not because I couldn’t take feedback. Because the loudest voice grading my day was mine, and it was grading on a curve nobody else was using.
Most people leave an interaction with me thinking better of it than I do. I’m slowly learning to let that outvote the version I’ve been telling myself.
I’m still working out who gets to be in my corner. But I’ve stopped assuming the voice in my own head deserves the final word.
