Nice is overrated.
We’ve been trained to believe that nice equals good. That politeness trumps progress. Avoiding discomfort is often more important than creating change.
But nice has a problem: it doesn’t help.
The colleague who says nothing about the spinach in your teeth? They’re being nice. And unhelpful.
The manager who avoids the difficult conversation about performance? Nice. And destructive.
The friend who nods along with your terrible business idea? Nice. And complicit in your future failure.
Here’s what we need instead: kindness.
Kindness requires courage. It demands we care enough to risk the momentary discomfort of truth-telling. Kind people point out the spinach. They have the hard conversation. They ask the difficult question.
The spinach test reveals everything. Your “nice” colleague lets you walk into the boardroom presentation looking foolish. Your kind colleague whispers, “Hey, you’ve got something in your teeth.”
Who actually cares about you?
Nice protects the speaker. Kind protects the listener.
Nice avoids conflict. Kind prevents disasters.
Nice feels good in the moment. Kind creates lasting value.
The organizations that thrive don’t hire nice people—they hire kind ones. People are willing to speak up when something’s not working. People who care enough to be uncomfortable.
Because here’s the paradox: the kindest thing you can do is stop being so nice.
