For many, this is the chocolate of choice, the rich dark bitterness infused with sweet notes. Yet, it is not the preferred choice for two-thirds of people in the USA while preferred in other countries. For many, the joy of the bitterness accentuates the sweetness and enables one to savor it more, while bitterness is something to be appreciated for what it is as well.
Like chocolate, cultures differ in their opinions on dealing with sadness and grief. Many ancient cultures embrace it extensively and believe that we must be aware of death and embrace it. It is only when we do so that we get to appreciate life. However, this extends to our everyday experiences. When we ignore the pain and hurt in a desire only to feel pleasure, we hold ourselves back from experiencing pure joy and the happiness we desire.
In relationships, we will inevitably feel pain at some point, even if that may only be at death. Yet, the disappointment and hurt are what enable us to appreciate the joy. We listen to love songs with an element of pain, and with that, we recall with fondness the love we shared – a small fact, people, on average, listen to sad love songs 50% more than happy love songs.
With work, we are so intent on success and constant growth, yet we know the failure that makes us understand how we must improve and what we can do differently to attain success. Failure provides us with a stimulus to achieve.
It is only since the early twentieth century that we have been less comfortable with physical death. Before then, when people died, their bodies were prepared for burial, and their lives were celebrated at home. Since then, we have outsourced this function, and the celebrations tempered. Death in many religions is seen as an opportunity for one’s soul to find bliss and eternal peace finally.
When sorrow, disappointment, and failure confront us, lean into them and reflect on them. Within this process, we will find the path to the joy we seek. We should take our time with the bitterness, not rush the process, and instead be deliberate with how we mourn the death and celebrate life.
