From the earliest age, children participate in sports and other extracurricular activities. Some may enjoy their choice, and others will soon move on to try something new. While others see them giving up, they have simply expressed that they no longer relish it and would rather spend their time doing something enjoyable. Possibly we should refer to it as acute self-awareness rather than quitting.
The kids who remain in the activity progress. Some dedicate themselves to it through a passion or possibly through parental coercion, but inevitably they begin to develop. A few excel and are seemingly at a different level than their fellow participants and teammates and seek alternate opportunities or participate with others at a similar competency. The kids know this. After all, who wants to spend time doing an activity where everyone else is far better or worse than you?
On a social level, the children develop friendships, and some prosper as they align with others who share similar interests, ideals and establish common bonds. They appreciate that there is no permanence in choices or status and that it is acceptable for us to develop differently and to have divergent needs.
We then become adults, and we forget or scorn this natural order. We choose a career that we believe we will enjoy or enjoy for a while, only to discover that we are bored. We find out we are not very good at our job. Instead of moving on to something we are passionate about, we persevere because we are a ‘place job title here’ and must improve. So we remain discontent, miserable, and ineffective while some of our peers excel in their roles.
The same applies to friendships and relationships. We develop them through shared interests and ideals. As the years pass on and we hopefully continue to grow, soon enough, our dreams and interests evolve too. Yet, we find that those with whom we previously shared ideals are no longer aligned. The new predicament confuses us, and instead of appreciating this mere fact, we look at the other person and begin to judge them negatively because they are no longer the same as us. We may even attempt to get them to change and be more like us.
Possibly we should embrace the instincts and courage that we exhibit in our youth, where we have a strong innate sense of what works well for us and what interests us. Appreciate that it is not a good use of our time and energy to prolong an activity or friendship where we are not aligned. It is ok that things have changed because we will continue to grow, and self-awareness is not a flaw but instead a skill to recognize our innate sense of self.
