In our haste to complete tasks or do things the way we want it, we go ahead and take on a task that is the responsibility of others. The justification we provide is that ‘it is simpler for me to do so’ or ‘it was me thinking it through, or ‘it needed to be done in a rush.’
You tie your kids’ shoelaces, take their forgotten homework to school, or even solve a problem they have or resolve a dispute for them.
But, what do we do the next time a similar issue arises?. If we did it initially, we would likely be doing the same again, enabling them to follow the same behavior pattern. Yet, they are now worse off since we have not given them the tools nor the opportunity to learn and develop and the ability to grow and gain confidence.
We believe we are an excellent parent or supervisor by doing the work for others in the spirit of support or help, yet we also tell that person, ‘I do not think you are capable, and I am doing it for you.’ While that may not be what they express, we have instilled it.
If we expect individuals to progress, we need to expect them to struggle, solve, and even fail on their terms, and with that, learn and conquer. When we help them gain competence, they will soon develop confidence and the ability to endeavor to solve issues on their own.
